Slow doesn’t mean stupid

Growing up, we would hear folktales from our grandmothers about clever hare and his slow, dull friend tortoise or silly baboon. From these stories, it is apparent we often mistake speed for intelligence; those children who catch on faster being more preferred to the slower ones. But there is a vast difference between speed and intelligence, mostly. Slow doesn’t mean stupid.

God made us different; some people are naturally slow. He certainly made the tortoise and sloth that way- it gives variety to creation. We are all unique in a very special way.

This makes children feel stupid, stop it!

My children are very different; the eldest is a talker and the middle child reserved. When he was younger, Tara would want to speak as fast as his sister but that would only end in frustration. The words wouldn’t come fast enough and he would repeat a phrase, what they call “speech disfluency“. The sister, and oftentimes the dad and I, with the best of intentions, would help him finish his sentences. Big mistake! If you are doing the same I just want to tell you to stop it! It doesn’t help at all, except making the other feel inadequate.

After a while, the dad noticed that if you were patient enough with him he could go through a conversation without much drama. Naturally, he is quite emotional and the waterworks come easily, and quite loudly too😒.

With that correction in our behavior, we learnt how intelligent he was. Of course all parents feel this way, and they are right! 😊All children have potential for great intelligence, if only we could be patient with them. Rather walk away when you feel telling them just how slow and stupid they are will motivate them to be the opposite; it only crushes their delicate spirits.

And also acknowledge our diverse talents, we can’t all fit into round holes; some of us are square.

Different interests

Our biggest challenge in education is we have a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s difficult for everyone to follow the same pathway when it comes to grasping concepts. There are times when I have tried to explain something to my daughter but she wouldn’t understand, but if it is explained in a different way by another person she gets it!

People have different abilities and strengths. The best we can do for our kids who are struggling in one area is to try and explore what interests them most and they will potentially excel in that. My daughter does not like Math much, which the brother can’t get enough of. She loves art, which the brother cares nothing for! Given time, am sure they will come to a balance in both areas, and interests may change with time. But until then, we keep ‘watering’ all plants in their gardens.

I started a game of plurals with my daughter the other day- ‘one arm, many? ‘ ‘Arms!’ ‘One tooth, many…’ ‘Toothes 😲’. I would have been worried had she not been talking about her ‘teeth’ earlier 😁. They will turn out just fine, I believe.