In a world buzzing with distractions and to-do lists, the true treasures often lie in the moments we carve out for our children. There is so much to enjoy through unplugging from gadgets- connecting, exploring, growing together. There is nothing better than the power of presence; making every moment with our children count.
We often confuse spending a lot of time (quantity) with how we spend it (quality), especially with our children or spouses. Yet quality time is more focused, more intentional than just to have tasks done.
I spend an appreciable amount of time with my kids as a homeschooling mum , and that would seem sufficient. Yet my brother-in-law challenged me when he shared how Susanna Wesley intentionally carved out time for her children.
Intentional parenting
Susanna Wesley (“Mother of Methodism”)
Susanna Wesley is a remarkable example of a woman who dedicated herself to intentional parenting despite many hardships. She gave birth to 19 children, although only 10 survived infancy. John and Charles Wesley, founders of the Methodist movement, owed their strong spiritual foundation to this phenomenal woman. She is often called the ‘mother of Methodism’ for her influence. Susanna provided a nurturing and disciplined environment, both for spiritual and intellectual growth. Famously, Susanna would sit in her chair with her apron over her head to signal her “quiet time” with God, teaching her children the importance of solitude, prayer, and discipline.
What challenged me most about this woman was how intentional she was about spending quality time with her children. She scheduled individual time with each just to talk, listen and offer guidance. Can you even imagine handling that many children? My three seem like a crowd, a mob and an army, all in one!
I was challenged by Susanna’s parenting so much so that I decided to dedicate individual time to my kids. And what joy that gave them! Each one has an hour alone with me weekly, on their own day. We talk; well, mostly play, in that hour. We have grown closer and I have learnt things about them that I didn’t before. The power of presence really changed for me in this, now I make every moment count.
Marie Curie (Scientist)
Marie Curie, the Nobel Prize-winning scientist known for her groundbreaking work in physics and chemistry, is another remarkable woman. She worked long hours in her lab but maintained a close relationship with her daughters, Irène and Ève. Her intentionality is inspirational. Can one be a career woman and still spend quality time with her children? Amazing!
Marie involved Irène in her scientific work as she got older, mentoring her in the lab. This influence helped Irène later win a Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Irene gained hands-on experience in science by spending time with her mother. Marie also encouraged Ève’s love of music and literature, spending evenings at home sharing stories, playing the piano, and engaging in discussions about art, music, and books.
Marie took trips with her girls every summer. They would travel to the countryside to take a break from their city surroundings, and bask in nature and engage in physical activities. She also took them on educational tours to museums and scientific institutions across Europe.
Many famous mums such as Princess Di (British royalty), Maya Angelou (poet and author), Eleanor Roosevelt (first lady) are renowned for being intentional about time with their children. Even ordinary mums like you and I can make a difference. It’s so sad how, when people are on their deathbeds, sick, or in some tragedy, they lament the time they did not spend with family. There is no time like the present, the power of presence both physically and emotionally. So make every moment with your loved ones count, today.
Dr Mum, the story of Marie Curie is an inspiration. We know how difficult physics and chemistry are, one needs a lot of concentration and it takes hard work to figure out how to produce a meaningful result on the project you will be working on. She won a Nobel prize and at the same time spent quality time with her daughters. Nowadays many of us mostly concentrate our time on social media and when our children want quality time with us we feel they are nagging and we quickly get angry and want them to go play outside with other kids. Giving them a potion of our time, like what you do, is very important; we must all learn to do the same. Thank you for such an inspiring story.