The adventure of raising bilingual children

I never imagined as a parent I would enjoy the adventure of raising bilingual children!

We are a family of five, with 3 children 9 years and under. My husband and I were born and raised in Zimbabwe, with Shona being our home language. All our children were born in Zimbabwe but we left for Canada when they were 6, 3 and 10 months old in 2022. What we found peculiar was that our daughter had picked up English in Zimbabwe and showed preference for it.

Strangely, she has not yet been in institutionalized learning because we have always been inclined to homeschooling. Some have suggested she picked it up from cartoons on TV; yet we limited her screen time. Anyway anyhow, she picked English but could also understand and speak Shona well.

To the best of my knowledge, my middle child’s English was very limited in Zimbabwe, although he could understand it. Yet, when we migrated he lost all his mother tongue. We would speak to him in Shona, but he would respond in English. I didn’t quite expect the youngest to speak it because he wouldn’t have as much exposure as the others. Our desire was for all of them to know and at best understand their native language. And so our adventure in raising bilingual children began.

Being intentional about raising bilingual children

To achieve the feat of raising our children bilingual we are intentional about exposing them to the language. We make it a point to converse in Shona to them.

We have had many funny moments when some things have been lost in translation. One day I was calling our youngest but he wasn’t responding. In irritation I asked him, “Haunzwe here? (Do your ears work?),” and he answered with an innocent look, “Aiwa (No!)”. I laughed because he was confused, and didn’t know what he was saying.

Encouraging them to speak their native tongue

You can’t learn to drive in a parked car; so we saw that the best way for them to learn to speak Shona was to actually speak it.

Actually, our homeschool facilitator came for an assessment, and that helped us get started. As we were chatting I brought the issue up. I talked about how we were incorporating speaking, songs and games so our children could learn their native language more. She then shared her experience of how French was her native language, yet she preferred speaking English at home. Her parents then pretended not to understand her when she spoke in English, forcing her to respond in French. This frustrated her then, but she later appreciated the exercise when she was older; her fluency and confidence in her native tongue got a boost.

We decided to pick up the method. We first had a discussion with the children on which times would be best to be exclusively ‘Shona’ time. They settled on the evenings, so dinner time has become synonymous with language switching time. Their favorite word at the dinner table is, “Watii? (What did you say?),” said to anyone the moment they forget to speak in Shona haha.

A day or two later I had forgetten and they reminded me that it was ‘Shona’ time! Our youngest is the first one to always say, “It’s Shona time!”, sometimes in the morning; much to the frustration of the middle child 😜.

To encourage them to speak, we limited ‘yes/no’ questions. At first, our middle child was hesitant to speak, preferring instead to just sing a Shona song 😁. He is a perfectionist who’d rather do it right or not at all. We encouraged him to speak, even allowing English words in there, as long as he strung out sentences in our language. With time, he has built confidence and answers as best as he can. He now feels safer to keep trying.

Dad helped by switching to night-time story-telling instead of reading books for them, and he would do so in Shona. Oh they loved those stories, and so did I! My husband is a good story-teller and he would keep them hooked. I wish I’d written those stories down—they could’ve made a great book!

Pitfalls to avoid

One of the pitfalls we avoided was to overcorrect. Because honestly, who wants to be stopped every few words to start over correctly? It sucks the joy and life out of the whole exercise.

Our youngest son’s favourite phrase is always, “Ndukuda mvura (I want some water)”, (which should be ndiri kuda mvura, but we get what he’s saying anyway) and “Maita basa, ndaguta” (Thank you for the food, I’m full). We laugh in our hearts because those two expressions often lead every sentence he makes, even when there’s no direct link!

Don’t use the native tongue only in anger, especially when you are yelling—it may become linked to violence and avoided. Cultivating the habit to use it when happy, praising and affirming children will make it more attractive. Consistent exposure works magic in the long run. Yes, since you aren’t constantly surrounded by people who speak that language, you’ll rely on quality—and that will work in your favor.

Mum mistakes in making mother-tongue attractive

Our middle child loves Ronaldo so I borrowed his biography from the library for him, and shared the stories. Cristiano’s team mates at Manchester United teased him for his poor English; his primary language is Portuguese. He shot back that they could only speak one language, where was the fun in that? I loved that line.

One day, we sat near a family with little ones conversing in their native tongue. I leaned in to my son and smiled.

Son: Mhamha, I know what you are going to say, don’t say it!

Me (laughing): What should I do then, can I at least just wink?

Son: No, just mind your business 🤣…. Oh my son.

Our biggest request to family from home is to have them speak in Shona when we call or when they leave voicenotes on Whatsapp for the kids. They deeply value it when others affirm their improvements in Shona. We ask them not to mock accents or grammar—everyone’s doing their best. They feel a sense of belonging when speaking to their people in their language. Learning to speak their native tongue will also make it less awkward in the presence of other family who aren’t too comfortable conversing in English.

Our eldest child has always had a positive sense of her heritage; grounding her in her identity has been easy. The boys love it when I respond to their ‘thank yous’ for food by saying, “Muchitendeiko Moyo? (“Don’t mention it, Moyo.” Moyo is their totem). When one of them finishes food and verbalizes their thanks, the other will respond like me. I enjoy that😍.

No matter how assimilated they are here, someone will always ask, ‘Where are you from?’—and so our journey of raising proud bilingual -even multilingual- children continues. I find comfort in knowing the struggle’s not only limited to Shona, but to other languages too. What can we do to help keep our children grounded? Do you have any suggestions for success in making your children love and speak their native language?