Comparison is the thief of joy. This is one of my favorite sayings; and a quick search attributed that to President Theodore Roosevelt. As parents this should ever be foremost in our minds. Children develop differently, and comparing them steals our joy and hinders us from celebrating what they are capable of already. For all things concerning children, wait until the brain is ready!
So when my 7 year-old daughter was still 4, she began saying she wanted to go to school like others. We distracted her from that idea. I have always been an advocate for not rushing kids to school because I feel once it starts it never stops, and they never get to fully enjoy childhood. I never taught her anything concerning school but she could count, write her numbers, know her colors, and do the alphabet all on her own.
We did a search for schools and quickly ditched the idea when we couldn’t afford it. Because we had already decided we would homeschool at some point, we started preparing for that. All was going well, until it wasn’t! Never has my patience been stretched to that limit 🤦♀️Boy, I had so much to learn in that department. Teaching a child is really no child’s play. After the crying, outbursts and up-hill battle we finally got our stride and are enjoying the process. Taking cues from the child rather than following general notes help. The biggest lesson I have learned is to wait until the child’s brain is ready!
Milestones will be reached when the brain is ready
Babies go through different milestones as they grow. Somehow I think this is where most of our pressure begins. Within reasonable limit, babies will develop differently whether it’s sitting, walking, teething or talking. I do not say this carelessly as there are some cases, of course, which are treatable if diagnosed early enough if there are challenges. I never used a baby walker on any of my children, they all learned to walk when they were ready. My babies teethe, walk, talk a little later than most. Of course there will always be pressure but if it’s within the normal range, ditch the stress!
Just as babies go through different developmental stages in growth, so do children in learning. The faster ones are by no means more intelligent than the slower ones. Some children take up reading at age 3 or 4, while some only take it up by 8 or even later in boys, generally speaking.
My girl has been struggling with reading. Just as I had done with her when Math was more than she could handle, I decided to stop for a while then start again. To be honest I was disheartened when I saw her struggling to the point of giving up. She wanted to read as well as I did. I told her when I was her age I read just as she was doing. She chuckled, it was so funny to her. I reached out to others more experienced than I, and their advice helped.
I hadn’t stopped reading to her, but that was all I was doing now. We made our trip to the library and got some books; on our way back she was already going through them. So I changed and got different level books, with more at pre-reading and level 1 reading. Now she can just grab a book and start reading. And that is what I am looking for: a love for books more than excellence in reading.
At some point earlier on I had decided to stop all formal schooling because it seemed to take more effort. She was more interested in playing than reading! A little later, she started picking interest. It’s much easier to teach a child who’s ready than one whom we put in school because they are at a certain age. Wait until the brain is ready for formal education. For such children “field trips, read-aloud books, working with family in the home, garden, shop, field, visits to people who know how things work are the best stress-free school settings”- Dr. Raymond Moore .
