Whatever you do, choose kindness

It’s easy to hurt children’s feelings. And it’s also easy to forget about it. They forgive easily and move on, and even come back to you a few minutes later regardless of how you upset them. There is a man who taught me a valuable lesson, which I haven’t forgotten. Quoting someone, he said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ” So whatever you do, choose kindness! You could win an argument, but lose a friend forever.

My mission field

My kids are my mission field. It is my duty to show them what a christian should be like – they have not made that decision yet. There are times when I wanted their help in getting the house in order. My eldest daughter gets distracted easily, you can send her to get something and she forgets the moment she starts walking away. You can imagine how much yelling I would do just to get simple tasks done! After all those crazy woman antics I would call them for worship. Imagine what they must have thought, like with that same mouth I was being unkind and now I want to praise the Lord 🤨

It hit me that I wasn’t modelling Christ the best to them. There is a popular story about a family who begged to move into church because that is where their father would be his best version; smiling, kind and polite. At home he would be mean and stingy. Whether this story really happened or not I don’t know, but it has important life lessons. Religion should be a lifestyle and not what you do in one day of the week. Children pick up more from how we behave than from what we say. Saying ‘do as I say and not as I do‘ only exposes our hypocrisy.

Social angel but family devil

My 4-year-old son is the most emotional being I know. The worst part of it is he doesn’t easily forget. So one day we had some children we were babysitting and I was extra nice to them. With children sometimes you issue a command multiple times, with the final pitched highest and harshest 🤯. My son then called me out, ‘ Mom, why are you being mean to me, but nice to them?’

There, right there, I was being a social angel but family devil: being mindful of what strangers would say or think of me, while taking my family for granted. I excused my behavior then: he was being difficult. But that did not warrant me treating him poorly like that, and in front of others too. It’s embarrassing to kids as it is to us, noone enjoys a public chastisement. Excusing our miserable behavior is sanctioning it. Yes, kids need to be disciplined, but never in anger. Whatever you do, choose kindness. In someone’s words, ” A bad mood is never an excuse to use cruel words. Moods pass, but cruel words wound the soul.”

Bite your tongue

For the umpteenth time I shouted for the game to be toned down, but I could as well have been talking to myself; the chasing and laughing and beating continued. The next thing was a loud cry. Bite your tongue? Well, not I at that moment! I reminded them what I had said earlier, if only they had listened. Don’t be like me 😁, comfort your children when they hurt themselves whilst treading the disobedience path. Choose kindness over being right. I am sure they would be beating themselves as well, wishing they had heeded your wise advice.

Kids will be kids for only a short time. You can be firm with them, but don’t forget to be kind. Being too strict will make you look like a grouch, and they will carry that memory with them forever. A little patience, a little kindness, will go a long way with them.